City folk can’t fathom this carefree attitude. Sometimes you need to ‘waste time’ and get more acquainted with your surroundings. If you live by the ocean, be a mermaid. 


Breaking us down one day after another. This used to be me, and then I realised, not everyone is like that. Will I be able to accept myself?




Referencing the loss of one of the great’s in our world, Robin Williams, and to all other people suffering with thoughts of taking their own life - I was one of them, I probably will be again at this rate … - To the very privileged parties around the world including my mother who can make statements to say that suicide is an all in one completely selfish act, allow me to put things in perspective for you.

I think that anyone like yourself who would brand someone as simply ‘selfish’ for being in a tumultuous emotional hole and suffering for so long at the expense of everyone else’s happiness is in absolute the most selfish thing to say. Depression is a psychological illness as well as things like anorexia. It is not a case of being a complete Eeyore for the day or just wanting to be skinny … it is a DISEASE and unfortunately people use it as an all too common description for feeling down nowadays. This has totally skewed people’s ability to take people seriously with it resulting in a social effect similar to that of the boy who cried wolf. ”To say taking your own life because of such an illness is a ‘selfish’ act does nothing but insult the deceased, potentially cause more harm and reveal a staggering ignorance of mental health problems”.

Do you understand what it is to lose sight of everything around you to melancholy? Can you say you understand the fear of losing yourself entirely in a nightmare? To be buried alive in an emotional pit so deep that no one can even dig you out? Not even yourself, because the mental struggle has started to take a physical toll of you. You lose spirit, you lose strength of self, you lose everything. You drift around like a spectre just trying to blend in, trying to gel with the living, but you are already gone, you know this, but other people cannot realise that you are simply a projection of the former self you are trying to convey to the world. You look at yourself in the mirror and you don’t recognise yourself … You cry all the time for no reason and feel stupid … Your skin loses it’s luminosity and dries out from all the salt. All your organs feel squashed, as if your body were shrinking into itself overtime … Everything you do feels like you’re being stretched, like a sheet over a mattress a size too big or a marginal amount of butter scraped over bread. You feel ugly … and brittle, like the tree of life that holds your upright has been whittled down to a mere twig for which to support the additional weight you now carry. It’s pain … It hurts everywhere …You take yourself to psychological court where the disease is the judge and condemns you to a life imprisonment. If you had to live with life in prison, would you want to live at all? ………People are quick to judge others … We are not all the same, that is what makes us so complicatedly beautiful and simultaneously tragic. We are all only human, do not segregate each other in times of tragedy.

- Clare-Alana (Bambi) Ford

"I practiced."


(Source: mountgagazet, via iamblox)


Well I think I hate you
Isn’t this fun
You’re gonna shoot
And I darling loaded the gun
I think I’m done
What train did you step off of anyway
I really don’t care
I’m the luckiest girl
Gonna lie with you baby
'Cause there's nowhere else
I can lay

I’m never talking to you again
I’ll go join the marines
And then I will peacefully sail away with some safe magazines
Did you hear what I say
You can’t fall down the stairs two times the same way
And I really don’t care
I’m the luckiest girl
Gonna tell you I love you
More than anything else
I can see

If people were cars I’d be covered with scars
I’ll hold on to my dignity
I bought this old dress to cover the mess
Don’t take it off I don’t want you
I don’t want you to see

Stop singing that song
I’ll stand hard like a tree
Yeah you make me sick
You red razor nick get your hot hands off me
Maybe you’re from the moon
Sensibility tells me that this is too soon
Oh my bones are bare

I’m the luckiest girl
Yeah and I want you baby
More than anything else
More than anything else
More than anything else
In the room
More than anything else
In the room

(Source: Spotify)


June 1, 1586

You always said, “Dear, let’s live together until our hair turns gray and die on the same day.” How could you pass away without me? Who should I and our little boy listen to and how should we live? How could you go ahead of me?

How did you bring your heart to me and how did I bring my heart to you? Whenever we lay down together you always told me, “Dear, do other people cherish and love each other like we do? Are they really like us?” How could you leave all that behind and go ahead of me?

I just cannot live without you. I just want to go to you. Please take me to where you are. My feelings toward you I cannot forget in this world and my sorrow knows no limit. Where would I put my heart in now and how can I live with the child missing you?

Please look at this letter and tell me in detail in my dreams. Because I want to listen to your saying in detail in my dreams I write this letter and put it in. Look closely and talk to me.

When I give birth to the child in me, who should it call father? Can anyone fathom how I feel? There is no tragedy like this under the sky.

You are just in another place, and not in such a deep grief as I am. There is no limit and end to my sorrows that I write roughly. Please look closely at this letter and come to me in my dreams and show yourself in detail and tell me. I believe I can see you in my dreams. Come to me secretly and show yourself. There is no limit to what I want to say and I stop here.


Could this be real 


When I was a little girl I was taken to Seaworld in Orlando, Florida where I spent time with one of the trainers there in 2001 whereupon I would visit again and again. The trainer I was introduced to was Dawn Brancheau, the woman killed during a show in 2010 whilst performing with the largest orca Seaworld holds in captivity, Tilikum. At a tender age Dawn helped to further inspire my love for animals and marine life. After what I can only describe now as significant corporative grooming, it became my dream to one day myself be a killer whale trainer when I grew up after witnessing the work first hand. My love for animals has always run deep. I feel in fact that I am more sensitive toward the issues of the animal kingdom than I am of our own. Animals don’t lie to us, and they cannot speak for their selves to let you know how they might be feeling. It is only the actions they display that can give us insight into what it is they need. As a human race, we have not done nearly enough for animals to repay them for all the things they have contributed toward maintaining this beautiful planet we have lived on for centuries. There is no real reason for any of us to bear grudge or harbour any ill will toward any creature on the earth, however, we have and continue to commit a bounty of mindless offences against them through our selfish need for mass consumption and brutish personal afflictions. All we do is take. Animals maintain with sentience. There is so much to learn from these separate entities of land and sea and sky. Blackfish was made to highlight the story of Seaworld’s killer whales, taken from their habitat and reared in a state of psychological indignation, all for our entertainment. The documentary features a disquieting insight into the lies and dismissiveness against the welfare of these creatures and of those who are hired to work with them. These parks have created a facade of engaging insight and education at a great personal expense to others with our funding for over five decades. The greed of corporation has continued to thrive on the  exploitation of our sensitivity and curiosity. Please watch this film and help to endorse this very important discovery. We need to start finding different ways of communicating with the rest of the world in a language of sensitivity and respect that can be globally absorbed, that goes for the wildlife too.